By Marie Beachdale

Sunday, Jan. 1, 2012, Surfside Beach - After years of being a waitress I have noticed dining trends among restaurant customers that are not only annoying, but at times totally disgusting, and I have compiled a Top 10 list.  

Filthy tables. There are no table bussers at the restaurant where I work. When diners leave, it is the server’s responsibility to clean off tables and set them up for the next customer. I have no problem with this-- that is, until customers leave a table looking like it was feeding time at the zoo.  

I expect a mess from tables with small children, but is it necessary for a four-top of adults to smear ketchup all over the table, scatter French fries on the floor, rip up napkins into itty bitty pieces, and build pyramids out of the caddy supplies? I understand I don’t work in fine dining, but would these diners do that at home? Maybe they would. Who knows.  

Incessant cell phone use. This is becoming a major issue. It seems like everyone, even children who can barely speak, have some sort of cell phone or tablet. I totally understand if someone is finishing up a conversation when they walk in the restaurant, but when someone is in the middle of giving me their order and they put me on hold to take a call or reply to a text, I get a little frustrated. Unless you’re the president or Jesus, is anything really so important that it can’t wait long enough for you to order lunch?  

Photo-ops. This is an issue I mainly have to deal with in the summer. When I see a family taking a picture, I usually offer to take one for them so everyone can be in it.  I love doing this for diners… as long as I have the time. More often than not, though, I will be asked to take a photo when I am in the weeds-- so busy and behind I don’t have a second to think.  

That was the case when I was approached by a group of girls on Spring Break last year. They flagged me down to take a photo for them, and once the picture had been taken they immediately had to check it out for approval.  

“O-M-G, I look so fat! Take it again that one’s terrible!” One of the girls said.

I thought of all of the food piling up in the back window waiting for me to deliver, but I didn’t want to disappoint them. Picture number two was approved, but before I could breathe a sigh of relief, the remaining three girls whipped out their phones for me to take pictures with. I felt like I was playing photographer forever while they were trying to decide which photos were superficial enough for Facebook. The same thing happens at least twice a week in the summer.

The untouched water. Whether it’s a table of two or a larger party, it is incredibly frustrating when I’m asked to bring soft drinks or beer ANDwaters for everyone, and upon bussing the table discover the waters have not been touched. Is ordering water a comfort thing, or do I look like a bad server who won’t refill drinks so diners think they need a back-up?

Greasy cups. Sometimes when a diner asks for a refill, they will hand me a cup that feels like it’s covered in slime. I was once handed a customer’s cup that was so drenched in mild wing sauce, it slid out of my hand while I was refilling it. There are plenty of paper towels provided on the table. I know this because it’s my job to stock them every morning. Don’t be afraid to use them.  

Ketchup addicts. It is unbelievable how many customers completely drown their food in ketchup. Not just burgers and fries… everything. Fish, hush puppies, you name it-- I have seen someone soak it in ketchup on more than one occasion.  

Bathroom etiquette. Please flush. At the restaurant, we don’t abide by the saying “if it’s yellow, let it mellow”.  

Cup shakers. Not to toot my own horn, but I’m pretty good at keeping up on drink refills. Once in a while, I fall a little behind, but that’s no reason for a diner to shake his or her cup at me like they’re a maraca star in a Latin American band.

Talking with a full mouth. Do I even need to elaborate on this one? Surprisingly, I see this in adult diners more than children. It’s an added bonus when a piece of food flies out of their mouth in my direction.

Dirty tissues. This is the grossest thing I deal with, by far. I will be standing at a table taking an order, and someone will blow their nose. Then, without a word, they will absent mindedly hand me their tissue full of snot. I’m not making this up, and it’s happened more than once. This goes hand in hand with diners spitting food into their napkins and leaving the chewed up mess at the table, uncovered. 

The first few months of being a waitress, I was shocked by the behavior of diners. “How could they do this?” I would think. Now, it takes a lot to make me cringe. I feel like I’ve seen it all, and I’ve slowly learned to accept that it comes with the territory of working in a restaurant.  

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